Wednesday, January 01, 2014

New Years Hopes

I'm not a "New Years Resolutions" kinda girl. I never really have been. I guess because I have never seen anyone ever really succeed in keeping them. They usually have a lot of guilt & failure attached to them. I have written about this before, I believe in "New Years Hopes." We hear the word "Hope" a lot, but what exactly does it mean? Webster's dictionary describes it in these ways...
  • to cherish a desire with anticipation 
  • to desire with expectation of obtainment 
  • to expect with confidence 
  • the feeling of wanting something to happen and thinking that it could happen
  • a feeling that something good will happen or be true
The word "Hope" is one of my most favorite words....There is joy in it. It makes you feel like you can take a deep breath. It makes you feel lighter. So that is why I believe in "New Years Hopes." The main one that sticks out to me for 2014, is I want to read more books. Now, I love to read, but in 2013....I am ashamed to say that I think I only read 2 complete books. I just wasn't into really reading for some reason. I did start a "Books I Want To Read" Pinterest board. So now every time I am interested in a book, I immediately pin it. I take pics of books when in the store & then I will come home & pin those too.  If you love historical fiction, then you will love the books I have pinned. It's all I read. I was excited to get "The House Girl" for Christmas & that will be my first book of 2014! I am so anxious to get started on it.

2014 will also be the year of the purge. I'm learning to let go of things. One of those is magazines. I have several subscriptions that I have gotten free, so I get a stack of new issues every month. The stack turned into a large overflowing laundry basket of magazines with several piles here & there in the house. I went through them all & threw away the laundry basket full. It was hard for me since most of them I had not even read. (yikes!) But some were 2 years old & I know that I will never get around to reading them. And now...Once I read a magazine, it gets thrown away (in the recycle bin) immediately. That is quite freeing.

I also threw away a bunch of makeup. I had 4 bags/containers full of makeup. Most of things I had were from free gifts with purchase. Others I got free when I was really into couponing. It was old & there was zero reason to hang on to it. My 4 containers are now condensed to 2. One with overlfow & the other with stuff I actually use. That felt good to let go of.

I have a major issue of thinking I could use this or that later. And that sort of thinking keeps me from letting things go. It keeps me stuck. I know that is a hoarders mentality. And I will be honest, I have held on to some things for years thinking "maybe" or "what if..." & then actually find a use for whatever it was. But I can not keep everything. It's not easy for me, since I tend to find an emotional attachment to just about everything. Like, I do still have a few eyeshadows that I can not bring myself to let go of, because I bought them when I was a makeup artist in LA...14 years ago! But they are little & don't take up much room & seeing them in my make-up case makes me smile & think of good things.

The biggest of the purging will be in my craft room. But it must be done. I think the biggest thing for me though will be making a conscious decision before I allow stuff to pile up...Do I really need to keep this? With the magazines....For me to throw away a magazine as soon as I am finished reading it, is absolutely unheard of in the history of Crystal. Hahahaha! I have been doing that for the last couple of months & every time I chunk a magazine in the trash, I feel accomplished. Haha! Sounds so silly, but it's a big deal in my world.

I of course will continue with being gluten free. It hasn't been as challenging as I had thought & for that I am grateful. I'm also down 17 pounds. 

And one last thing....I hope I can learn to not just let go of "things", but to let go of matters of the heart.....God has given me such a desire to help those that are hurting, but I usually end up getting so emotionally invested in their issues that it impacts me greatly. It can be exhausting, at times & in 2014, I hope I can learn to leave these people & their issues at the foot of the cross. I struggle so much with wanting to be there, but also knowing when it's time to pull away.  I'm not saying walk away, mind you...I will still be there for them.  But no matter how much I plead, people will make their own choices & I have to learn to just step back & allow them to fall, if that is what is going to happen. It doesn't matter how much I try to keep them from getting hurt, or facing regret, they are going to do what they are going to do. It's their life to live. And it's time I stop allowing their choices to affect my emotional state. It's my life to live also & all I can do is love. Love people to Jesus. Because at the end of the day, it's between Him & them, ain't it? I will continue to be there to love them regardless of their choices, no matter what, because that is what He has called me to do. He didn't call me to change them...Only He can do that.

So here is to a very hopeful 2014...One of love....And less clutter. :)

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