Monday, October 08, 2012

The Day We Lost Molly

I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this or not. But I needed to "get it out" & my blog captures my life. This day is a huge part of that. Molly's age was really showing big time the last few weeks. She's been very fragile for a long time. And I knew in my heart that the end was coming. I have felt this would be her last year. I remember taking our annual Christmas photo this past year & she wasn't in it because she hated to have her photo taken & I knew then she would never be in a Christmas photo again. I always hoped she would just pass away in her sleep. Actually every morning I thought she was dead & it took awhile to wake her. But she had her wild moments, when we honestly could not control her & we had feared her braking a bone.


 Wednesday afternoon (September 26) I had gone over to Mom's to take a shower. The water pipe that runs to our house was busted, so our water was off while it was being fixed. I had just walked home with my hair still in a towel & I let Molly, Razzy & Rocco outside. D called me while we were out there. After they were done with their business, I was trying to get them in the house. It's usually difficult with Molly because she was senile & would run everywhere. She literally acted like a wild caged animal. So it was very stressful. I tried to get her in the house twice & I finally got her & pushed her inside the door, she was doing her crazy running thing. She slipped & broke her hip. She was screaming in pure agony. I dropped the phone & grabbed her, all the while Raz & Roc were trying to get to her to see what was going on. It was utter chaos in those seconds. I got the boys back outside & Molly couldn't move. She was just screaming. It was the most awful sound. I was crying & praying & trying to comfort her. I laid her on her bed in my room & sat with her until D got home. I left her for just a second & she tried to get up. It was awful. She started screaming again. I held her. I was frantic. We knew this was not something we could just let heal. She's 16. I called the vet & they said to bring her in. It was all happening so fast. I sat in the back seat of the car with her & loved on her all the way to the vet. She wouldn't move. I think her little body was in shock, because she was in so much pain. They ushered us right back & I was just a basket case. The doctor (an amazing vet) came in & talked with us. All I could do was cry, while loving on Molly & telling her just how I love her. The Doctor came back in the room & was ready to give Molly the shot, D said he just couldn't stay. He just couldn't do it. I always thought I wouldn't be able to either, but I just couldn't leave her. I just couldn't. I just kept telling her how much I love her. She never moved at all. It was like she wasn't there anymore, even before we got to the vet. I squatted down & held her sweet face in my hands as they gave her the shot. I just sobbed. She laid down & the Doctor checked her, he said her heart had stopped. I closed her eyes. I just couldn't believe this was happening. It was just so fast. There was no time to think. I just knew she could not live in that pain. My heart was ripped out. I left the room & they took me out the back door, where D was waiting in the car. A few minutes later they brought her to us. We both cried on the way home. We buried Molly on the hill right behind the house with her favorite stuffed animal "Kitty Baby" & some cookies.

4 comments:

  1. Oh, Crystal! I still remember the day we put down my childhood dog. It must have been so hard that everything happened so quickly. I, too, am very sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

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  2. I am so sorry to hear this Crystal and yes, it broke my heart too and I hope you will gain strength and celebrate her life with you before which is so memorable.

    You take care.

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