Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Grave

I woke up sorta weepy...It's a tears could spill out at any given moment, kind of day, but I finally had a chance to go to his grave. It was not something I had planned to do. But as I was on the way to take D to work, I decided it was time. The cemetery where he is buried is next to a park that I grew up playing in. Actually my grandfather sold the land the park sits on to the city for one dollar, back before my time. And that cemetery was once the place I would go to clear my head. I have spent many hours there talking to the Lord. It will never be that for me again. As I pulled up, I noticed the park was completely deserted, a very odd thing for a Sunday Summer afternoon. A storm was rolling in so the wind was picking up & getting strong. As I slowly approached the mound of Alabama red clay, that had the small bouquet of plastic flowers, leaning haphazardly, it felt like I was in a movie. You know where the wind is symbolic for something? I was alone...With him. Well, there were the dozens of ducks & geese all around waiting to see if I had a loaf of bread to spare. I just stood there as the wind blew my overly curly hair, all over the place. It kept getting stuck in my lipstick. I couldn't say anything. I thought words would fly out, but nothing.  A few big drops of rain began to hit me, but I stayed there. This is the closest I have been to him in over 24 years. I finally began to talk. But I barely said anything when I noticed a truck driving towards me. It swooped around & began to back up right in front of the grave. So I walked off a bit startled & acted like I was just  "looking around" at other graves. A man got out of the truck & walked to the grave & just stood there. I realized it was one of my uncles that I have not seen since I was a kid. I made my way back to my car, because I didn't know what was about to happen & I felt scared. He wasn't there to pay his respects. He was there to see what I was doing. He got back into his truck & drove off. I have no clue what that was all about. It was so odd. I sat in my car for awhile just completely confused. If I decide to go back there, I will be taking D with me.

2 comments:

  1. They were making sure you didn't steal those beautiful faded, dirty, plastic flowers. Pathetic!!!!!

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  2. That is bizarre. I am read this a few times over. I am glad you went to his grave. I still cannot grasp what you're feeling, but still praying that you will feel God's peace.

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