Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Reflections From The Week

A week ago I was laying in the deep black darkness & the quietest of quiet trying to get in some sleep, not knowing the severity of the damage or just how many lives along with trees had been uprooted, splintered, broken, demolished & gone. Our power was out. Just an inconvenience in our spoiled existence. But I knew that something had changed "out there". Life was oddly different. That day began with a eerie feeling, something was not setting well in my gut. I knew the storms were not going to be gentle. I had even dreamed the night before that our home was destroyed by a tornado, but in the middle of my ravaged home I was "Jumping for joy for Jesus" while I hugged Rocco. And if you know me & my dreams, you know that I had a feeling that this dream could very well come true. Once the storms finally left our area & not a tree branch had fallen I felt a huge sigh of relief leave my lungs, as a "Thank You Lord" left my lips.

This whole week I have looked at the smallest things with much gratitude in my heart. My little house has a list of things that need to be done. Things I'm embarrassed for anyone to see. But I couldn't be happier knowing I still have a place to call my home. That I can go to the stove & cook when I want. Take a nice hot shower when I please. And that I can thumb through my photo albums & reflect on the memories of each image. That my husband & furbabies are still at my side, safe & sound. How grateful I am that I don't personally know anyone that lost a home, family or pets. I have felt so guilty that my life has gone on. A prince married a commoner. A villain was killed. A reality show contestant was kicked of a show. That while I am going about my day, people not far from here are rummaging through what little is left of their lives. Still searching for a piece of what they knew just a week ago. Has it really been a whole week? 7 days since those monsters tore through the state I call home? Wiped places off the map that I have yet to venture? That long since families were all together, safe & warm under the roof of their homes? And businesses were still functioning properly?

Today at 5:13pm there was a moment of silence. I sat here looking out my window & began to cry. The sky was that perfect shade blue. The sun was shining through the leaves making them a brilliant green. A completely different kind of day than we had last Wednesday. My heart was breaking all over again. I feel like I have done nothing for those in need. I have donated, but I have a great desire welling up inside of me to get out there & do something. Tonight, I was reading about Hackleburg a small town that is gone & what few people are left, they say are walking around like zombies. They need people to help. They need people to just come love on them. I know I can't physically go & move debris, but I can hug. I can love. I can listen. My situation in life has left me so aggravated that I can't just get in a car & go. Go help in some way. It feels like my heart is "out there", while I am stuck. Since I am stuck, I will continue to pray. And not just play word service that so many easily do. I will really pray. Not just for those that lost so much, but for those who are giving of themselves helping in any way they can. The tragedy is not going to go away quickly. It's going to be a very long process & they are going to need every prayer that can be mustered for them.

If you have not donated you can. It's easy. If you do nothing more than sending $5 to a charity, them please do so.

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