Monday, January 03, 2011

Hopes for 2011

I was working on a year in review & just wasn't "feeling it." And I'm not going to make a list of hopes I have for this new year. I just don't feel like that either, durn it. My greatest hope for 2011, is that I will be able to see this move to Memphis as a gift. That I will embrace it. And fall in love with it. As I type, I get a pit in my stomach, because right now those words are far from how I feel. But I know that anything is possible with the Lord, even the way I see Memphis & living away from "home". You would think by now I would be OK with it all. Living in limbo-land has kept me a bit stunted. I believe once we have found a house & I can visualize where we will live, it will help me tons.

Being stretched hurts. And this stretching is about to kill me. I was thinking about how life has been for me the last few years. They have been comfortable for the most part. Like when I am all snuggled under the warm layers of blankets on a cold early morning. That bed is the best place on earth in those moments & there is no place else I would rather be. Now, those blankets have been snatched completely off & the cold is polarizing. I am normally someone who loves the cold, but in this case...Not one bit. It's a terrifying chill. I want to jump back in the bed, to get warm again, but the blankets are gone.

Gosh....How depressing! Hahaha!

I am just being real here & being very honest about my feelings. Like I have said before I want to look back & see how far the Lord has brought me. I can't do that if I act all "happy happy joy joy" when I am blatantly NOT feeling that way right now. You can't see progress if you are not honest. So honest I will continue to be.

I will say though, that the idea of a newer house to live in does spark a teensy weensy bit of excitement in me. Even though I will miss my little broken down abode.

Anyway...I went in a completely different direction that I had planned & I need to get back on track.

A friend (Thank you Nicki!!!) sent me this video & I just now had a chance to watch it. Oh how perfect it is, especially on this morning as D is on the road for his 4th week of commuting.










My hopes for this new year are all wrapped up in the big move. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my Jesus is with me. He always has been & always will be. In the midst of my deepest despair there He stood right by my side. He has gone before me in this. And He will go with me every step of the way into this newest journey. So as I walk into 2011, I will have my ups & downs, but I will have them knowing that everything will be OK. He blessed me with so much. One being the husband he gave me over 10 years ago. Into the minefields I will dance with my Honey D, clinging to the promises HE (the Lord) has made to not harm me, but to prosper me & to give me a hope & a future. 




I especially love these lyrics....



Cause we bear the light of the son of man 
So there’s nothing left to fear 
So I’ll walk with you in the shadow lands 
Till the shadows disappear 
Cause he promised not to leave us 
And his promises are true 
So in the face of all this chaos baby 
I can dance with you 

2 comments:

  1. Crystal!
    Our Young Marrieds Sunday School class discussion yesterday was about that song "Dancing in the Mine Fields"! I love the song and what it means! Even in all that bad things that might happen we can so beautifully dance with the beloved that God blessed us with to the next mountain top! The battle does not seem quite as hard when I know that I have Jesus and Jonathan right there with me!
    Thank you for your honesty, and I pray that God brings you joy and peace during this time of change! Praying lots of blessing, sunshine and hugs! So love reading your blog!
    Lisa

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  2. Crystal, Great things await you in Memphis - I can just 'feel' it. So, right now let me 'feel' it for you and you feel what you feel - don't fight it. Just be open to anything and let Jesus be your guide.

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